先生は丸で世間に名前を知られてゐない人であつた。だから先生の學問や思想に就ては、先生と密接の關係を有つてゐる私より外に敬意を拂ふもののあるべき筈がなかつた。それを私は常に惜い事だと云つた。先生は又「私のやうなものが世の中へ出て、口を利いては濟まない」と答へるぎりで、取り合はなかつた。私には其答が謙遜過ぎて却つて世間を冷評する樣にも聞こえた。實際先生は時々昔しの同級生で今著名になつてゐる誰彼を捉へて、ひどく無遠慮な批評を加へる事があつた。それで私は露骨に其矛盾を擧げて云々して見た。私の精神は反抗の意味といふよりも、世間が先生を知らないで平氣でゐるのが殘念だつたからである。其時先生は沈んだ調子で、「何うしても私は世間に向つて働らき掛ける資格のない男だから仕方がありません」と云つた。先生の顏には深い一種の表情があり／＼と刻まれた。私にはそれが失望だか、不平だか、悲哀だか、解らなかつたけれども、何しろ二の句の繼げない程に強いものだつたので、私はそれぎり何もいふ勇氣が出なかつた。
translation
Sensei was a man whose name was generally unknown to the world. Therefore, as someone who had a close relationship with Sensei, there should be no one else who should respect him more than I do. I always called it a pity. Sensei only replied, ``If someone like me were to go out into the world, I wouldn't be offended.'' To me, his answer was so modest that it sounded like he was criticizing the world. In fact, Sensei would sometimes pick up an old classmate who was now famous and criticize him terribly bluntly. So I blatantly pointed out that contradiction and looked at it. My spirit was not so much in the sense of rebellion, but rather because it was a pity that the world would not know about you and were unconcerned. At that time, Sensei said in a depressed tone, "No matter what I do, I'm a man unqualified to work in society, so it can't be helped." Sensei's face had a deep kind of expression on it, and was engraved with /\. Whether it was disappointment, dissatisfaction, or sorrow, I didn't know, but it was so strong that I couldn't put it into words, so I didn't have the courage to say anything.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 先生: teacher (せんせい), instructor, master, sensei, title or form of address for a teacher, master, doctor, lawyer, etc. | 丸: circle (まる), circle (マル), entirety, entirety, whole | 世間: world (せけん), society, people, the public | 名前: name (なまえ), given name, first name |
| 人: -ian (e.g. Italian) (じん), -ite (e.g. Tokyoite), -er (e.g. performer, etc.), person working with …, man | 思想: thought (しそう), idea, ideology | 密接: close (relationship, connection, etc.) (みっせつ), intimate, near, being in close proximity, being adjacent | 有: existence (ゆう), possession, having, limited company, bhava (becoming, existence) (う) |
| 外: outside (そと), outside (と), exterior, exterior, the open (air) | 敬意: respect (けいい), honour, honor | 筈: should (be) (はず), bound (to be), expected (to be), must (be), nock (of a bow) | 常: constant (とこ), unchanging, eternal, ordinary (ただ), ordinary (タダ) |
| 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 世: world (よ), society, public, life, lifetime | 中: inside (なか), interior, among, within, middle | 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) |
| 利: advantage (り), benefit, profit, interest | 答: answer (こたえ), reply, response, answer, solution | 取: taking (とり), taker, collecting, collector, remover | 合: between-season wear (あい), spring and autumn clothing, spring and fall clothing, together, condition |
| 過: surplus- (か), excess-, over-, per- (chemical with more of a certain element than found in other compounds of the same constituents) | 冷評: sarcasm (れいひょう), sneer, jeer | 先生: teacher (せんせい), instructor, master, sensei, title or form of address for a teacher, master, doctor, lawyer, etc. | 時々: sometimes (ときどき), occasionally, at times, from time to time, now and then |
| 同級生: classmate (どうきゅうせい) | 著名: well-known (ちょめい), noted, celebrated | 誰彼: this or that person (たれかれ), this or that person (だれかれ), anybody, anybody, many people | 無遠慮: rude (ぶえんりょ), outspoken, presumptuous, cheeky |
| 加: addition (か), Canada | 露骨: open (ろこつ), unconcealed, undisguised, blatant, plain | 矛盾: contradiction (むじゅん), inconsistency | 云々: and so on (うんぬん), and so forth, et cetera, and such, and the like |
| 精神: mind (せいしん), spirit, soul, heart, ethos | 反抗: opposition (はんこう), resistance, insubordination, defiance, hostility | 意味: meaning (いみ), significance, sense | 先生: teacher (せんせい), instructor, master, sensei, title or form of address for a teacher, master, doctor, lawyer, etc. |
| 何: what (なに), what (ナニ), you-know-what, you-know-what, that thing | 掛: credit (かけ), money owed on an account, bill, hanger, holder | 資格: qualifications (しかく), requirements, capabilities | 男: man (おっこ), man (おとこ), male, male, fellow |
| 顏: face (かお), face (がん), visage, visage, look | 深: august (み), beautiful, growing late (ふけ), latening | 一種: a kind (いっしゅ), a sort, a variety, a species, of sorts | 表情: facial expression (ひょうじょう), countenance, look, appearance, expression (vocal, etc.) |
| 失望: disappointment (しつぼう), despair | 不平: discontent (ふへい), dissatisfaction, complaint, grievance | 悲哀: sorrow (ひあい), grief, sadness | 解: solution (of an equation, inequality, etc.) (かい), root (e.g. of a polynomial), solution (to a given problem), answer, explanation |
| 句: section (i.e. of text) (く), sentence, passage, paragraph, phrase | 程: extent (ほど), degree, measure, limit, bounds | 強: a little over (きょう), a little more than, strength, the strong, powerhouse |