私の胸には其時分から時々恐ろしい影が閃めきました。初めはそれが偶然外から襲つて來るのです。私は驚ろきました。私はぞつとしました。然ししばらくしてゐる中に、私の心が其物凄い閃めきに應ずるやうになりました。しまひには外から來ないでも、自分の胸の底に生れた時から潛んでゐるものゝ如くに思はれ出して來たのです。私はさうした心持になるたびに、自分の頭が何うかしたのではなからうかと疑つて見ました。けれども私は醫者にも誰にも診て貰ふ氣にはなりませんでした。
translation
From that time on, a frightening shadow flashed in my chest. At first it comes by chance from outside. I was amazed. I was horrified. After a while, however, my heart began to respond to that terrifying epiphany. Even though it didn't come from the outside, it started to feel like something hidden in my heart from the moment I was born. Every time I felt like this, I wondered if something was wrong with my head. But I didn't feel like seeing a doctor or anyone else.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 胸: chest (むな), chest (むね), breast, breast, breasts | 時分: time (じぶん), hour, season, time of the year | 時々: sometimes (ときどき), occasionally, at times, from time to time, now and then |
影: shadow (かげ), silhouette, figure, shape, reflection | 初: first (うい), first (はつ), new, new, innocent (うぶ) | 偶然: coincidence (ぐうぜん), chance, accident, fortuity, by chance | 外: outside (そと), outside (と), exterior, exterior, the open (air) |
然: -like (ぜん), so (さ), like that, in that way, like that (しか) | 中: inside (なか), interior, among, within, middle | 心: mind (こころ), heart, spirit, the meaning of a phrase (riddle, etc.), heart (しん) | 外: outside (そと), outside (と), exterior, exterior, the open (air) |
底: bottom (そこ), sole, base (logarithmic, exponential, number system) (てい), radix, base (triangle, cone, cylinder, etc.) | 生: pure (き), undiluted, raw, crude, raw (なま) | 時: time (とき), hour, moment, occasion, case | 如: tathata (the ultimate nature of all things) (にょ), like (こと), like (ごと), like (もころ), similar to |
心持: feeling (こころもち), mood, sensation, disposition, mental attitude | 頭: counter for large animals (e.g. head of cattle) (とう), counter for insects in a collection, counter for helmets, masks, etc., head (あたま), head (かしら) | 何: what (なに), what (ナニ), you-know-what, you-know-what, that thing | 疑: doubt (ぎ), distrust, suspicion (of) |
醫者: doctor (いしゃ), physician | 誰: who (た), who (たれ), who (だあれ), who (だれ) | 氣: spirit (き), mind, heart, nature, disposition |