「其内妻の母が病氣になりました。醫者に見せると到底癒らないといふ診斷でした。私は力の及ぶかぎり懇切に看護をしてやりました。是は病人自身の爲でもありますし、又愛する妻の爲でもありましたが、もつと大きな意味からいふと、ついに人間の爲でした。私はそれ迄にも何かしたくつて堪らなかつたのだけれども、何もする事が出來ないので已を得ず懷手をしてゐたに違ありません。世間と切り離された私が、始めて自分から手を出して、幾分でも善い事をしたといふ自覺を得たのは此時でした。私は罪滅しとでも名づけなければならない、一種の氣分に支配されてゐたのです。
translation
"In the meantime, my wife's mother fell ill. I was told that if I showed her to a doctor, she would never recover. I took care of her as best I could. It was also for the sake of my beloved wife, but in a broader sense, it was finally for the sake of a human being. It was at this time that I, cut off from the world, began to feel that I had done something good for the first time. I was dominated by a kind of mood that must be called atonement.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 内妻: common-law wife (ないさい) | 母: mother (あも), mother (いろは), mother (おも), mother (かか), mother (はは) | 病氣: illness (usu. excluding minor ailments, e.g. common cold) (びょうき), disease, sickness, bad habit, bad behaviour | 醫者: doctor (いしゃ), physician |
| 到底: (cannot) possibly (とうてい), (not) by any means, (not) at all, utterly, absolutely | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 力: force (ちから), strength, might, vigour, vigor | 及: and (および), as well as |
| 看護: nursing (かんご), (army) nurse | 是: here (ここ), this place, this point, here, now | 病人: sick person (びょうにん), patient, invalid | 自身: (one’s) self (じしん), oneself |
| 爲: good (ため), advantage, benefit, welfare, sake | 妻: wife (つま), garnish (esp. one served with sashimi), trimmings, accompaniment, side (remark) | 大: large (おお), big, great, major, important | 意味: meaning (いみ), significance, sense |
| 迄: until (a time) (まで), till, to, up to, to (a place or person) | 何: what (なに), what (ナニ), you-know-what, you-know-what, that thing | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 得: profit (とく), advantage, benefit, gain, rebirth in paradise, entering nirvana |
| 切: eager (せつ), earnest, ardent, kind, keen | 離: li (one of the trigrams of the I Ching: fire, south) (り) | 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself | 手: hand (て), arm, forepaw, foreleg, handle |
| 幾分: somewhat (いくぶん), to some extent, to some degree, some, part | 善: good (ぜん), goodness, right, virtue | 名: name (な), given name, title, fame, renown | 一種: a kind (いっしゅ), a sort, a variety, a species, of sorts |