一年經つてもＫを忘れる事の出來なかつた私の心は常に不安でした。私は此不安を驅逐するために書物に溺れやうと力めました。私は猛烈な勢をもつて勉強し始めたのです。さうして其結果を世の中に公けにする日の來るのを待ちました。けれども無理に目的を拵えて、無理に其目的の達せられる日を待つのは嘘ですから不愉快です。私は何うしても書物のなかに心を埋めてゐられなくなりました。私は又腕組をして世の中を眺めだしたのです。
translation
Even after a year, I couldn't forget K, and my heart was always uneasy. To drive away this anxiety, I tried to drown myself in books. I began to study with ferocity. Thus, I waited for the day when I would announce the results to the world. However, forcing yourself to set a goal and then forcing yourself to wait for the day when you can achieve that goal is a lie, so it's unpleasant. No matter what I did, I could no longer immerse myself in books. I folded my arms again and looked out at the world.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 一年: one year (いちねん), one year (ひととし), one year (ひととせ), some time ago, some time ago | Ｋ: K (ケイ), K (ケー), k, k, kilo- | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) |
| 常: constant (とこ), unchanging, eternal, ordinary (ただ), ordinary (タダ) | 不安: anxiety (ふあん), uneasiness, worry, apprehension, fear | 不安: anxiety (ふあん), uneasiness, worry, apprehension, fear | 書物: book (しょもつ), volume |
| 猛烈: fierce (もうれつ), intense, severe, violent, strong | 勢: energy (せい), military strength, force (いきおい), force (いきよい), vigor | 勉強: study (べんきょう), diligence, working hard, experience, lesson (for the future) | 結果: result (けっか), consequence, outcome, effect, as a result of … |
| 中: inside (なか), interior, among, within, middle | 公: you (きみ), buddy, pal, monarch, ruler | 日: day (ひ), days, sun, sunshine, sunlight | 無理: unreasonable (むり), unreasonable (ムリ), unnatural, unnatural, unjustifiable |
| 目的: purpose (もくてき), goal, aim, objective, intention | 達: pluralizing suffix (esp. for people and animals; formerly honorific) (たち), friend (だち), friend (ダチ) | 嘘: lie (うそ), lie (ウソ), fib, fib, falsehood | 不愉快: unpleasant (ふゆかい), disagreeable, displeasing, uncomfortable, unhappy |
| 腕組: folding one’s arms (うでぐみ) |