Ｋに對する私の良心が復活したのは、私が宅の格子を開けて、玄關から坐敷へ通る時、即ち例のごとく彼の室を拔けやうとした瞬間でした。彼は何時もの通り机に向つて書見をしてゐました。彼は何時もの通り書物から眼を放して、私を見ました。然し彼は何時もの通り今歸つたのかとは云ひませんでした。彼は『病氣はもう癒いのか、醫者へでも行つたのか』と聞きました。私は其刹那に、彼の前に手を突いて、詫まりたくなつたのです。しかも私の受けた其時の衝動は決して弱いものではなかつたのです。もしＫと私がたつた二人曠野の眞中にでも立つてゐたならば、私は屹度良心の命令に從つて、其場で彼に謝罪したらうと思ひます。然し奧には人がゐます。私の自然はすぐ其所で食ひ留められてしまつたのです。さうして悲しい事に永久に復活しなかつたのです。
translation
My conscience about K was revived when I opened the lattice of the house and passed through the entrance to the tatami room, in other words, the moment I tried to pass through his room as usual. As usual, he was sitting at his desk reading. As usual, he took his eyes off the book and looked at me. As usual, however, he did not say whether he had just returned. He asked, 'Have you recovered from your illness, or have you gone to the doctor? At that moment, I wanted to put my hand in front of him and apologize. Moreover, the impulse I received at that time was by no means weak. If K and I were standing alone in the middle of a wilderness, I would do what my conscience dictates and apologize to him on the spot. However, there are people in the back. My nature was soon choked there. And so, sadly, he was never resurrected.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| Ｋ: K (ケイ), K (ケー), k, k, kilo- | 對: versus (たい), against, vs., v., to (e.g. score of 4 to 2, ratio of 3 to 1, vote of 320 to 180) | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 良心: conscience (りょうしん) |
| 宅: house (たく), home, one’s house, one’s home, one’s husband | 格子: lattice (こうし), latticework, window bars, grid, grating | 玄關: entrance (げんかん), front door, entryway, entranceway, entry hall | 坐敷: tatami room (ざしき), tatami mat room, formal Japanese room, dinner party in a tatami room (esp. when a geisha or maiko attends) |
| 例: example (れい), instance, illustration, case, precedent | 彼: that (あ), that (あれ), that (アレ), that thing, that thing | 室: room (しつ), wife (of someone of high rank), scabbard, Chinese “Encampment” constellation (one of the 28 mansions), greenhouse (むろ) | 瞬間: moment (しゅんかん), second, instant |
| 机: desk (つき), desk (つくえ) | 書見: reading (しょけん) | 書物: book (しょもつ), volume | 眼: eye (め), eyeball, eyesight, sight, vision |
| 然: -like (ぜん), so (さ), like that, in that way, like that (しか) | 病氣: illness (usu. excluding minor ailments, e.g. common cold) (びょうき), disease, sickness, bad habit, bad behaviour | 醫者: doctor (いしゃ), physician | 行: line (of text) (ぎょう), row, verse, carya (austerities), samskara (formations) |
| 前: point (さき), tip, end, nozzle, head (of a line) | 手: hand (て), arm, forepaw, foreleg, handle | 突: very (とっ), much | 受: vedana (sensation) (じゅ) |
| 決: decision (けつ), vote | 弱: a little less than (じゃく), a little under, slightly fewer than, weakness, the weak | 二人: two persons (ににん), two persons (ふたり), two people, two people, pair | 曠野: wide plain (こうや), wide plain (ひろの), wasteland (あらの), wasteland (あれの), wasteland |
| 屹度: surely (きっと), surely (キッと), undoubtedly, undoubtedly, almost certainly | 良心: conscience (りょうしん) | 良心: conscience (りょうしん) | 命令: order (めいれい), command, decree, directive, (software) instruction |
| 奧: inner part (おく), interior, back (of a drawer, one’s throat, etc.), depths (e.g. of a forest), recesses (e.g. of a cave) | 人: -ian (e.g. Italian) (じん), -ite (e.g. Tokyoite), -er (e.g. performer, etc.), person working with …, man | 自然: nature (しぜん), natural, spontaneous, automatic, naturally | 其所: there (place relatively near listener) (そこ), there (place just mentioned), that place, then (of some incident just spoken of), that (of point just raised) |
| 留: ruble (Russian currency) (ルーブリ), ruble (Russian currency) (ルーブル), rouble, rouble, stationary point (りゅう) | 悲: karuna (compassion) (ひ) | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 永久: eternity (えいきゅう), eternity (とこしえ), eternity (とわ), permanence, permanence |