自分の室へ歸つた私は、事のあまりに譯もなく進行したのを考へて、却つて變な氣持になりました。果して大丈夫なのだらうかといふ疑念さへ、どこからか頭の底に這ひ込んで來た位です。けれども大體の上に於て、私の未來の運命は、是で定められたのだといふ觀念が私の凡てを新たにしました。
translation
When I returned to my room, I felt strange, thinking that things had gone so smoothly. A suspicion of whether or not everything will be okay somehow crept into the depths of my mind. On the whole, however, the idea that my future destiny was determined by this changed everything for me.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself | 室: room (しつ), wife (of someone of high rank), scabbard, Chinese “Encampment” constellation (one of the 28 mansions), greenhouse (むろ) | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident |
| 考: thought (こう), report on one’s investigation into …, deceased father | 變: strange (へん), odd, peculiar, weird, curious | 果: phala (attained state, result) (か), enlightenment (as the fruits of one’s Buddhist practice), fruit, counter for pieces of fruit, end (はたて) | 大丈夫: safe (だいじょうぶ), safe (だいじょぶ), secure, secure, sound |
| 頭: counter for large animals (e.g. head of cattle) (とう), counter for insects in a collection, counter for helmets, masks, etc., head (あたま), head (かしら) | 底: bottom (そこ), sole, base (logarithmic, exponential, number system) (てい), radix, base (triangle, cone, cylinder, etc.) | 位: throne (くらい), crown, (nobleman’s) seat, government position, court rank | 上: above (うえ), over, up, top, summit |
| 運命: fate (うんめい), destiny, lot | 是: here (ここ), this place, this point, here, now | 定: certainly (さだ), truly, certainty (じょう), reality, actuality | 凡: about (おおよそ), roughly, approximately, generally, on the whole |