私には第一に彼が解しがたい男のやうに見えました。何うしてあんな事を突然私に打ち明けたのか、又何うして打ち明けなければゐられない程に、彼の戀が募つて來たのか、さうして平生の彼は何處に吹き飛ばされてしまつたのか、凡て私には解しにくい問題でした。私は彼の強い事を知つてゐました。又彼の眞面目な事を知つてゐました。私は是から私の取るべき態度を決する前に、彼について聞かなければならない多くを有つてゐると信じました。同時に是からさき彼を相手にするのが變に氣味が惡かつたのです。私は夢中に町の中を歩きながら、自分の室に凝と坐つてゐる彼の容貌を始終眼の前に描き出しました。しかもいくら私が歩いても彼を動かす事は到底出來ないのだといふ聲が何處かで聞こえるのです。つまり私には彼が一種の魔物のやうに思へたからでせう。私は永久彼に祟られたのではなからうかといふ氣さへしました。
translation
"First of all, he seemed like an incomprehensible man to me." Why did he suddenly tell me such a thing? I wonder if it was a problem that was difficult for me to understand. I knew how strong he was. I also knew how serious he was. I believed I had much more to ask about him before I could make up my mind from now on. At the same time, dealing with him in the first place felt strange. As I wandered through the town, I kept picturing his face as he sat steadfastly in his room. Moreover, I heard a voice somewhere saying that no matter how much I walked, it would be impossible to move him. In other words, I thought he was some kind of monster. I felt as if I had been haunted by him forever.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 第一: first (だいいち), foremost, number one, most important, best | 彼: that (あ), that (あれ), that (アレ), that thing, that thing | 解: solution (of an equation, inequality, etc.) (かい), root (e.g. of a polynomial), solution (to a given problem), answer, explanation |
| 見: looking (み), viewing, (please) try (to), view (of life, etc.) (けん), outlook | 何: what (なに), what (ナニ), you-know-what, you-know-what, that thing | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 突然: abrupt (とつぜん), sudden, unexpected |
| 打: dozen (ダース), hitting a ball (with a bat, golf club, etc.) (だ), batting, stroke | 明: vidya (wisdom) (みょう), mantra, the coming (July 4, etc.), brightness (めい), discernment | 程: extent (ほど), degree, measure, limit, bounds | 戀: (romantic) love (こい) |
| 何處: where (いずく), where (いずこ), where (いづこ), where (いどこ), where (どこ) | 飛: rook (ひ), fly ball | 凡: about (おおよそ), roughly, approximately, generally, on the whole | 問題: question (e.g. on a test) (もんだい), problem, problem (e.g. societal, political), question, issue |
| 知: wisdom (ち), jnana (higher knowledge) | 眞面目: serious (まじめ), serious (マジメ), earnest, earnest, sober | 是: here (ここ), this place, this point, here, now | 取: taking (とり), taker, collecting, collector, remover |
| 決: decision (けつ), vote | 前: point (さき), tip, end, nozzle, head (of a line) | 多: multi- (た) | 有: existence (ゆう), possession, having, limited company, bhava (becoming, existence) (う) |
| 同時: simultaneous (どうじ), concurrent, same time, synchronous, together | 相手: companion (あいて), partner, company, other party, addressee | 變: strange (へん), odd, peculiar, weird, curious | 惡: evil (あく), wickedness, (role of) the villain (in theatre, etc.), the bad guy |
| 町: town (まち), block, neighbourhood, neighborhood, downtown | 中: inside (なか), interior, among, within, middle | 歩: pawn (ふ), step (ほ), stride, counter for steps, walking (あゆみ) | 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself |
| 凝: muscle stiffness (esp. in shoulders) (こり), muscle stiffness (esp. in shoulders) (しこり), lump (in tissue, esp. breast), lump (in tissue, esp. breast), swelling | 容貌: looks (ようぼう), features, (personal) appearance | 始終: continuously (しじゅう), from beginning to end, from first to last | 眼: eye (め), eyeball, eyesight, sight, vision |
| 動: motion (どう) | 到底: (cannot) possibly (とうてい), (not) by any means, (not) at all, utterly, absolutely | 聲: voice (こえ), singing (of a bird), chirping (of an insect), hoot, voice | 一種: a kind (いっしゅ), a sort, a variety, a species, of sorts |
| 永久: eternity (えいきゅう), eternity (とこしえ), eternity (とわ), permanence, permanence | 彼: that (あ), that (あれ), that (アレ), that thing, that thing | 氣: spirit (き), mind, heart, nature, disposition |