仕舞に私は凝として居られなくなりました。無理に凝としてゐれば、Ｋの部屋へ飛び込みたくなるのです。私は仕方なしに立つて縁側へ出ました。其所から茶の間へ來て、何といふ目的もなく、鐵瓶の湯を湯呑に注いで一杯呑みました。それから玄關へ出ました。私はわざとＫの室を囘避するやうにして、斯んな風に自分を往來の眞中に見出したのです。私には無論何處へ行くといふ的もありません。たゞ凝としてゐられない丈でした。それで方角も何も構はずに、正月の町を、無暗に歩き廻つたのです。私の頭はいくら歩いてもＫの事で一杯になつてゐました。私もＫを振ひ落す氣で歩き廻る譯ではなかつたのです。寧ろ自分から進んで彼の姿を咀嚼しながらうろついて居たのです。
translation
"In the end, I couldn't stay still." If I force myself to be stiff, I feel like rushing into K's room. Reluctantly, I stood up and went out to the porch. From there, I came to the tea room and, without any particular purpose, poured hot water from the iron kettle into a cup and drank it. Then I went out to the door. By deliberately avoiding K's room, I found myself in the middle of the traffic. Of course, I have no intention of going anywhere. The length was just unbearable. So I wandered aimlessly through the New Year's town without worrying about which direction to take. No matter how much I walked, my mind was filled with thoughts about K. I didn't mean to walk around with the intention of throwing K off. Rather, I voluntarily wandered about, chewing on his appearance.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 仕舞: end (しまい), close, finish, termination, noh dance in plain clothes | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 凝: muscle stiffness (esp. in shoulders) (こり), muscle stiffness (esp. in shoulders) (しこり), lump (in tissue, esp. breast), lump (in tissue, esp. breast), swelling | 居: residence (きょ), being (somewhere) (い), sitting |
| Ｋ: K (ケイ), K (ケー), k, k, kilo- | 部屋: room (へや), chamber, apartment, flat, pad | 飛: rook (ひ), fly ball | 仕方: way (しかた), method, means, resource, course |
| 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) | 其所: there (place relatively near listener) (そこ), there (place just mentioned), that place, then (of some incident just spoken of), that (of point just raised) | 茶: tea (ちゃ), tea plant (Camellia sinensis), tea preparation, making tea, brown | 間: space (between) (あいだ), space (between) (あわい), gap, gap, interval |
| 目的: purpose (もくてき), goal, aim, objective, intention | 湯: hot water (ゆ), hot bath, hot spring, molten iron, soup (タン) | 湯呑: teacup (ゆのみ) | 注: annotation (ちゅう), explanatory note, comment |
| 玄關: entrance (げんかん), front door, entryway, entranceway, entry hall | 室: room (しつ), wife (of someone of high rank), scabbard, Chinese “Encampment” constellation (one of the 28 mansions), greenhouse (むろ) | 風: swing (ふり), shake, wave, swinging, appearance | 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself |
| 何處: where (いずく), where (いずこ), where (いづこ), where (いどこ), where (どこ) | 何處: where (いずく), where (いずこ), where (いづこ), where (いどこ), where (どこ) | 行: line (of text) (ぎょう), row, verse, carya (austerities), samskara (formations) | 的: -ical (てき), -ive, -al, -ic, -y |
| 方角: direction (ほうがく), way, point of the compass, cardinal direction, bearing | 構: structure (かまえ), construction, appearance, posture (e.g. in martial arts), pose | 正月: New Year (esp. first three days) (しょうがつ), first month of the year, January | 町: town (まち), block, neighbourhood, neighborhood, downtown |
| 歩: pawn (ふ), step (ほ), stride, counter for steps, walking (あゆみ) | 頭: counter for large animals (e.g. head of cattle) (とう), counter for insects in a collection, counter for helmets, masks, etc., head (あたま), head (かしら) | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 一杯: one cup (of) (いっぱい), one glass (of), one bowl (of), cupful, glassful |
| 氣: spirit (き), mind, heart, nature, disposition | 寧: rather (むしろ), better, instead, if anything | 彼: that (あ), that (あれ), that (アレ), that thing, that thing | 姿: figure (すがた), form, shape, appearance, dress |