「あなたから過去を問ひたゞされた時、答へる事の出來なかつた勇氣のない私は、今あなたの前に、それを明白に物語る自由を得たと信じます。然し其自由はあなたの上京を待つてゐるうちには又失はれて仕舞ふ世間的の自由に過ぎないのであります。從つて、それを利用出來る時に利用しなければ、私の過去をあなたの頭に間接の經驗として教へて上げる機會を永久に逸するやうになります。さうすると、あの時あれ程堅く約束した言葉が丸で嘘になります。私は已を得ず、口で云ふべき所を、筆で申し上げる事にしました」
translation
"When you asked me about my past, I was unable to answer. I believe that I have gained the freedom to speak clearly before you. However, that freedom is yours." It is nothing more than a worldly freedom that will be lost while waiting for me to come to Tokyo. I will forever lose the opportunity to teach as an experience.In that case, the words that I promised so firmly at that time would be a complete lie. I decided to write down
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 過去: the past (かこ), bygone days, one’s past (that one would prefer remained secret), past (tense), preterit | 問: question (とい), query, counter for questions (もん) | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) |
| 前: point (さき), tip, end, nozzle, head (of a line) | 明白: obvious (めいはく), clear, plain, evident, apparent | 物語: story (ものがたり), tale, narrative, account, fable | 自由: freedom (じゆう), liberty |
| 信: honesty (しん), sincerity, fidelity, trust, reliance | 然: -like (ぜん), so (さ), like that, in that way, like that (しか) | 自由: freedom (じゆう), liberty | 上京: going (up) to the capital (じょうきょう), going to Tokyo |
| 世間的: public (attention, recognition, etc.) (せけんてき), social (standing, acceptance, etc.), worldly (fame, desires, etc.) | 過: surplus- (か), excess-, over-, per- (chemical with more of a certain element than found in other compounds of the same constituents) | 利用: use (りよう), utilization, utilisation, application | 時: time (とき), hour, moment, occasion, case |
| 頭: counter for large animals (e.g. head of cattle) (とう), counter for insects in a collection, counter for helmets, masks, etc., head (あたま), head (かしら) | 間接: indirection (かんせつ), indirectness | 上: above (うえ), over, up, top, summit | 永久: eternity (えいきゅう), eternity (とこしえ), eternity (とわ), permanence, permanence |
| 約束: promise (やくそく), agreement, arrangement, one’s word, contract | 言葉: language (けとば), language (ことば), dialect, dialect, word | 丸: circle (まる), circle (マル), entirety, entirety, whole | 嘘: lie (うそ), lie (ウソ), fib, fib, falsehood |
| 所: place (とこ), place (ところ), spot, spot, scene | 筆: writing brush (ひつ), writing brush (ふで), paintbrush, paintbrush, pen | 申: the Monkey (ninth sign of the Chinese zodiac) (さる), hour of the Monkey (around 4pm, 3-5pm, or 4-6pm), west-southwest, 7th month of the lunar calendar |