私は筆を執つて友達のだれかれに短かい端書又は長い手紙を書いた。其友達のあるものは東京に殘つてゐた。あるものは遠い故郷に歸つてゐた。返事の來るのも、音信の屆かないのもあつた。私は固より先生を忘れなかつた。原稿紙へ細字で三枚ばかり國へ歸つてから以後の自分といふやうなものを題目にして書き綴つたのを送る事にした。私はそれを封じる時、先生は果してまだ東京にゐるだらうかと疑ぐつた。先生が奧さんと一所に宅を空ける場合には、五十恰好の切下の女の人が何處からか來て、留守番をするのが例になつてゐた。私がかつて先生にあの人は何ですかと尋ねたら、先生は何と見えますかと聞き返した。私は其人を先生の親類と思ひ違へてゐた。先生は「私には親類はありませんよ」と答へた。先生の郷里にゐる續きあひの人々と、先生は一向音信の取り遣りをしてゐなかつた。私の疑問にした其留守番の女の人は、先生とは縁のない奧さんの方の親戚であつた。私は先生に郵便を出す時、不圖幅の細い帶を樂に後で結んでゐる其人の姿を思ひ出した。もし先生夫婦が何處かへ避暑にでも行つたあとへ此郵便が屆いたら、あの切下の御婆さんは、それをすぐ轉地先へ送つて呉れる丈の氣轉と親切があるだらうかなどと考へた。其癖その手紙のうちには是といふ程の必要の事も書いてないのを、私は能く承知してゐた。たゞ私は淋しかつた。さうして先生から返事の來るのを豫期してかゝつた。然しその返事は遂に來なかつた。
translation
I picked up my pen and wrote a short or long letter to one of my friends. Some of those friends remained in Tokyo. Some had returned to their distant hometowns. Sometimes I got an answer, sometimes I didn't. I never forgot my teacher. I decided to send three pages of manuscript paper in fine print, which I had written on the topic of my future self after I returned to my country. When I sealed it up, I wondered if Sensei was still in Tokyo. When Sensei and his wife were away from home, it was customary for a woman in her fifty-something dress to come from somewhere and stay at home. When I once asked my teacher what he was, he asked me what he looked like. I mistook him for a relative of Sensei. The teacher replied, "I have no relatives." Sensei hadn't exchanged messages with the people who had been living in his hometown for a long time. The woman who answered my question was a relative of Mrs. Okusan, who had no connection with Sensei. When I was mailing the letter to Sensei, I remembered him happily tying a narrow, narrow belt behind him. If this mail arrives after Sensei and his wife have gone somewhere to escape the summer heat, would that old woman who had been laid off have the kindness and generosity to send it to her destination immediately? I thought. I was well aware that the letter did not contain anything so necessary as to be expected. I just felt lonely. I was expecting a reply from Sensei. But the reply never came.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 筆: writing brush (ひつ), writing brush (ふで), paintbrush, paintbrush, pen | 執: bow (and arrow; esp. of a noble) (たらし), attachment (しゅう), obsession, persistence | 友達: friend (ともだち), companion |
| 端書: postcard (はがき), postcard (ハガキ), memo, memo, note | 又: again (また), once more, once again, another time, some other time | 長: height (たき), height (たけ), stature, stature, length (esp. of clothing) | 手紙: letter (てがみ), missive, note, mail |
| 友達: friend (ともだち), companion | 東京: Tokyo (とうきょう), Tokyo (とうけい) | 遠: distant (とお) | 故郷: hometown (きゅうり), hometown (ふるさと), birthplace, birthplace, native place |
| 音信: correspondence (いんしん), correspondence (おんしん), news, news, letter | 先生: teacher (せんせい), instructor, master, sensei, title or form of address for a teacher, master, doctor, lawyer, etc. | 原稿紙: manuscript paper (げんこうし) | 細字: small type or handwriting (さいじ), small type or handwriting (ほそじ) |
| 國: country (くに), state, region, national government, central government | 以後: after this (いご), from now on, hereafter, thereafter, since (then) | 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself | 題目: title (だいもく), heading, topic, subject, theme |
| 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 封: seal (ふう) | 先生: teacher (せんせい), instructor, master, sensei, title or form of address for a teacher, master, doctor, lawyer, etc. | 果: phala (attained state, result) (か), enlightenment (as the fruits of one’s Buddhist practice), fruit, counter for pieces of fruit, end (はたて) |
| 奧: inner part (おく), interior, back (of a drawer, one’s throat, etc.), depths (e.g. of a forest), recesses (e.g. of a cave) | 一所: one place (いっしょ), one place (ひとところ), the same place, the same place, one person | 宅: house (たく), home, one’s house, one’s home, one’s husband | 空: emptiness (から), emptiness (カラ), being empty, being empty, not carrying anything |
| 五十: fifty (い), fifty (いそ), fifty (ごじゅう), 50, 50 | 恰好: shape (かっこ), shape (かっこう), shape (カッコ), form, form | 恰好: shape (かっこ), shape (かっこう), shape (カッコ), form, form | 女: female (うみな), female (おうな), female (おな), female (おみな), female (おんな) |
| 何處: where (いずく), where (いずこ), where (いづこ), where (いどこ), where (どこ) | 留守番: care-taking (るすばん), house-sitting, house-watching, staying at home, caretaker | 例: example (れい), instance, illustration, case, precedent | 何: what (なに), what (ナニ), you-know-what, you-know-what, that thing |
| 見: looking (み), viewing, (please) try (to), view (of life, etc.) (けん), outlook | 返: number of times (へん), reply, answer | 親類: relative (しんるい), relation, kin | 答: answer (こたえ), reply, response, answer, solution |
| 人々: people (ひとびと), men and women, each person, everybody, each person (にんにん) | 一向: intently (ひたすら), single-mindedly, devotedly, solely, earnestly | 音信: correspondence (いんしん), correspondence (おんしん), news, news, letter | 音信: correspondence (いんしん), correspondence (おんしん), news, news, letter |
| 疑問: doubt (ぎもん), question, suspicion, dubiousness | 留守番: care-taking (るすばん), house-sitting, house-watching, staying at home, caretaker | 縁: connection (to a person, place, etc.) (しょえん), connection (to a person, place, etc.) (ゆかり), relation, relation, affinity | 方: direction (かた), way, person, lady, gentleman |
| 郵便: mail service (ゆうびん), postal service, mail, post, mail | 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) | 細: detail (さい), details, small (いささ), small (いさら), little | 帶: obi (kimono sash) (おび), obi (strip of paper looped around a book, CD, etc. containing information about the product), band, belt, strip |
| 姿: figure (すがた), form, shape, appearance, dress | 先生: teacher (せんせい), instructor, master, sensei, title or form of address for a teacher, master, doctor, lawyer, etc. | 夫婦: married couple (ふうふ), husband and wife, man and wife, married couple (みょうと), married couple (めおと) | 夫婦: married couple (ふうふ), husband and wife, man and wife, married couple (みょうと), married couple (めおと) |
| 行: line (of text) (ぎょう), row, verse, carya (austerities), samskara (formations) | 郵便: mail service (ゆうびん), postal service, mail, post, mail | 呉: go (ご), soy beans soaked and mashed to a creamy paste (ingredient of tofu and soy milk), Wu (region in China, south of the lower Yangtze), Wu (kingdom in China during the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms era; 902-937 CE), Southern Wu | 丈: only (だけ), just, merely, simply, no more than |
| 考: thought (こう), report on one’s investigation into …, deceased father | 是: here (ここ), this place, this point, here, now | 程: extent (ほど), degree, measure, limit, bounds | 必要: necessary (ひつよう), needed, essential, indispensable, necessity |
| 承知: knowledge (しょうち), awareness, acceptance, consent, assent | 然: -like (ぜん), so (さ), like that, in that way, like that (しか) | 遂: end (つい), final, end of life, death, never |