私は奥さんの態度を何方かに片付て貰ひたかつたのです。頭の働きから云へば、それが明らかな矛盾に違ひなかつたからです。然し伯父に欺むかれた記憶のまだ新らしい私は、もう一歩踏み込んだ疑ひを挾さまずには居られませんでした。私は奥さんの此態度の何方かが本當で、何方かが僞だらうと推定しました。さうして判斷に迷ひました。たゞ判斷に迷ふばかりでなく、何でそんな妙な事をするか其意味が私には呑み込めなかつたのです。理由を考へ出さうとしても、考へ出せない私は、罪を女といふ一字に塗り付けて我慢した事もありました。必竟女だからあゝなのだ、女といふものは何うせ愚なものだ。私の考は行き詰れば何時でも此所へ落ちて來ました。
translation
"I wanted someone to clean up my wife's attitude." Judging from the workings of my head, it was an obvious contradiction. However, still fresh in my memory of being deceived by my uncle, I couldn't help but hold my suspicions one step further. I presumed that some of this attitude of Okusan was true and some of it was false. I was at a loss for judgment. Not only was I at a loss to decide, but I couldn't comprehend why he was doing such a strange thing. Even if I tried to come up with a reason, I couldn't come up with it, so I endured it by smearing the word "woman" as a sin. It's because she's a woman, after all, women are stupid. Whenever my thoughts hit a dead end, I always came to this place.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 奥: inner part (おく), interior, back (of a drawer, one’s throat, etc.), depths (e.g. of a forest), recesses (e.g. of a cave) | 態度: attitude (たいど), manner, behaviour, demeanour, bearing | 何方: which way (いずかた), which way (いずし), which way (いずち), which way (どち), which way (どちら) |
| 明: vidya (wisdom) (みょう), mantra, the coming (July 4, etc.), brightness (めい), discernment | 矛盾: contradiction (むじゅん), inconsistency | 然: -like (ぜん), so (さ), like that, in that way, like that (しか) | 伯父: uncle (おじ), uncle (しゅくふ), uncle (はくふ), uncle (one’s father’s older brother) (えおじ) |
| 新: new (しん), neo-, newness, novelty, Gregorian calendar | 一歩: (a) step (いっぽ), one step, level, stage, step | 疑: doubt (ぎ), distrust, suspicion (of) | 居: residence (きょ), being (somewhere) (い), sitting |
| 本當: truth (ほんと), truth (ほんとう), truth (ホント), truth (ホントウ), truth (ホントー) | 推定: presumption (すいてい), assumption, estimation | 何: what (なに), what (ナニ), you-know-what, you-know-what, that thing | 妙: strange (みょう), weird, odd, curious, wonder |
| 意味: meaning (いみ), significance, sense | 理由: reason (りゆう), reason (わけ), pretext, pretext, motive | 考: thought (こう), report on one’s investigation into …, deceased father | 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) |
| 女: female (うみな), female (おうな), female (おな), female (おみな), female (おんな) | 一字: (one) letter (いちじ), (one) character | 塗: coating (esp. lacquering) (ぬり), covered with (みどろ), stained, smeared | 付: furnished with (つき), furnished with (づき), furnished with (ツキ), including, including |
| 必竟: after all (ひっきょう), in the end, in short, atyanta (absoluteness) | 女: female (うみな), female (おうな), female (おな), female (おみな), female (おんな) | 愚: foolishness (ぐ), silliness, stupidity, folly, I | 行: line (of text) (ぎょう), row, verse, carya (austerities), samskara (formations) |
| 何時: when (いつ), at what time, how soon, normal times, ordinary days | 此所: here (ここ), this place, this point, here, now | 落: slip (おち), slip (オチ), omission, omission, upshot |