奧さんは最初世の中を見る先生の眼が厭世的だから、其結果として自分も嫌はれてゐるのだと斷言した。さう斷言して置きながら、ちつとも其所に落ち付いてゐられなかつた。底を割ると、却つて其逆を考へてゐた。先生は自分を嫌ふ結果、とう／＼世の中迄厭になつたのだらうと推測してゐた。けれども何う骨を折つても、其推測を突き留めて事實とする事が出來なかつた。先生の態度は何處迄も良人らしかつた。親切で優しかつた。疑ひの塊りを其日／＼の情合で包んで、そつと胸の奧に仕舞つて置いた奧さんは、其晩その包みの中を私の前で開けて見せた。
translation
Oku-san said that at first, Sensei's view of the world was pessimistic, and as a result, she was also disliked. Even after saying these words, I still couldn't sit still. When I got to the bottom of it, I was thinking the opposite. Sensei speculated that, as a result of his dislike of himself, he had finally come to dislike the world. However, no matter how hard I tried, I was unable to pin down that speculation and turn it into a fact. Sensei's demeanor was that of a good man. He was kind and gentle. On that day, she wrapped the lump of doubt in a special envelope and put it away in her chest.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 奧: inner part (おく), interior, back (of a drawer, one’s throat, etc.), depths (e.g. of a forest), recesses (e.g. of a cave) | 最初: beginning (さいしょ), outset, first, onset | 世: world (よ), society, public, life, lifetime | 初世: first generation (しょせい), founder |
| 見: looking (み), viewing, (please) try (to), view (of life, etc.) (けん), outlook | 先生: teacher (せんせい), instructor, master, sensei, title or form of address for a teacher, master, doctor, lawyer, etc. | 眼: eye (め), eyeball, eyesight, sight, vision | 厭世的: sick of life (えんせいてき), world-weary, pessimistic |
| 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself | 嫌: disliking (いや), disliking (や), disliking (イヤ), not wanting, not wanting | 其所: there (place relatively near listener) (そこ), there (place just mentioned), that place, then (of some incident just spoken of), that (of point just raised) | 落: slip (おち), slip (オチ), omission, omission, upshot |
| 底: bottom (そこ), sole, base (logarithmic, exponential, number system) (てい), radix, base (triangle, cone, cylinder, etc.) | 割: rate (わり), ratio, proportion, one tenth, ten percent | 考: thought (こう), report on one’s investigation into …, deceased father | 結果: result (けっか), consequence, outcome, effect, as a result of … |
| 何: what (なに), what (ナニ), you-know-what, you-know-what, that thing | 骨: knack (こつ), knack (コツ), skill, skill, trick | 折: opportunity (おり), chance, occasion, time, folding | 推測: guess (すいそく), conjecture |
| 留: ruble (Russian currency) (ルーブリ), ruble (Russian currency) (ルーブル), rouble, rouble, stationary point (りゅう) | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 態度: attitude (たいど), manner, behaviour, demeanour, bearing | 何處: where (いずく), where (いずこ), where (いづこ), where (いどこ), where (どこ) |
| 良人: husband (おっと), husband (りょうじん), husband (りょうにん), good person, good person | 親切: kind (しんせつ), gentle, considerate, generous, friendly | 優: gentle (やさ), affectionate, Excellent (grade) (ゆう), A, superiority | 疑: doubt (ぎ), distrust, suspicion (of) |
| 包: yurt (パオ) | 胸: chest (むな), chest (むね), breast, breast, breasts | 仕舞: end (しまい), close, finish, termination, noh dance in plain clothes | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) |