私が死なうと決心してから、もう十日以上になりますが、その大部分は貴方に此長い自敍傳の一節を書き殘すために使用されたものと思つて下さい。始めは貴方に會つて話をする氣でゐたのですが、書いて見ると、却つて其方が自分を判然描き出す事が出來たやうな心持がして嬉しいのです。私は醉興に書くのではありません。私を生んだ私の過去は、人間の經驗の一部分として、私より外に誰も語り得るものはないのですから、それを僞りなく書き殘して置く私の努力は、人間を知る上に於て、貴方にとつても、外の人にとつても、徒勞ではなからうと思ひます。
translation
"It's been more than ten days since I decided to die, but please consider that most of it was used to leave you with this long passage of my sermon." At first, I was going to meet you and talk to you, but now that I've written it, I feel like I've been able to clearly portray myself, which makes me happy. I don't write for excitement. My past, which gave birth to me, is a part of human experience that no one else can speak to except me. In this regard, I hope that it will not be futile for both you and others.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 死: death (し), death (ﾀﾋ), decease, decease, (an) out | 決心: determination (けっしん), resolution | 十日: 10th day of the month (とおか), ten days |
| 以上: not less than … (いじょう), … and over, … and above, … and upwards, … or more | 大部分: most part (だいぶぶん), greater part, majority | 貴方: your home (きほう), your residence, you (referring to one’s equal; epistolary style), you (あなた), dear | 一節: one passage (いっせつ), one paragraph, one stanza, one verse, one section (of a piece of music) |
| 使用: use (しよう), application, employment, utilization, utilisation | 下: below (した), down, under, younger (e.g. daughter), bottom | 話: talk (はなし), speech, chat, conversation, topic | 氣: spirit (き), mind, heart, nature, disposition |
| 其方: that way (そち), that way (そちら), that way (そっち), that way (そなた), that direction | 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself | 判然: clear (はんぜん), distinct, evident, definite | 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) |
| 心持: feeling (こころもち), mood, sensation, disposition, mental attitude | 生: pure (き), undiluted, raw, crude, raw (なま) | 過去: the past (かこ), bygone days, one’s past (that one would prefer remained secret), past (tense), preterit | 人間: human being (にんげん), human, person, man, mankind |
| 外: outside (そと), outside (と), exterior, exterior, the open (air) | 誰: who (た), who (たれ), who (だあれ), who (だれ) | 語: word (ご), language, speech, talk (かたり), recital | 得: profit (とく), advantage, benefit, gain, rebirth in paradise, entering nirvana |
| 知: wisdom (ち), jnana (higher knowledge) | 上: above (うえ), over, up, top, summit | 於: at (おいて), in, on | 人: -ian (e.g. Italian) (じん), -ite (e.g. Tokyoite), -er (e.g. performer, etc.), person working with …, man |