其時私の受けた第一の感じは、Ｋから突然戀の自白を聞かされた時のそれと略同じでした。私の眼は彼の室の中を一目見るや否や、恰も硝子で作つた義眼のやうに、動く能力を失ひました。私は棒立に立竦みました。それが疾風の如く私を通過したあとで、私は又あゝ失策つたと思ひました。もう取り返しが付かないといふ黒い光が、私の未來を貫ぬいて、一瞬間に私の前に横はる全生涯を物凄く照らしました。さうして私はがた／＼顫へ出したのです。
translation
The first feeling I received at that time was almost the same as when I suddenly heard K's love confession. As soon as my eyes took one look into his room, they lost the ability to move, like artificial eyes made of glass. I stood on my pole. After it passed me like a gale, I thought I had made another mistake. A black light that seemed irrevocable pierced through my future, and in an instant it illuminated my whole life that stretched out before me. And so I shuddered.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 受: vedana (sensation) (じゅ) | 第一: first (だいいち), foremost, number one, most important, best | 感: feeling (かん), sensation, emotion, admiration, impression | Ｋ: K (ケイ), K (ケー), k, k, kilo- |
| 戀: (romantic) love (こい) | 自白: confession (じはく), admission | 時: time (とき), hour, moment, occasion, case | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) |
| 彼: that (あ), that (あれ), that (アレ), that thing, that thing | 室: room (しつ), wife (of someone of high rank), scabbard, Chinese “Encampment” constellation (one of the 28 mansions), greenhouse (むろ) | 中: inside (なか), interior, among, within, middle | 一目: glance (ひとめ), look, glimpse, complete view, bird’s-eye view |
| 目見: look (まみ), one’s eyes | 否: no (ひ), the noes, no (いや), no (いな), nay | 硝子: glass (ガラス), pane, glass (しょうし) | 作: work (e.g. of art) (さく), production, harvest, cultivation, farming |
| 動: motion (どう) | 能力: ability (のうりょく), faculty, low-ranking priest who does manual labour at a temple (のうりき), male temple employee | 失: loss (of something) (しつ), disadvantage, mistake, error, failure | 疾風: gale (しっぷう), gale (はやて), strong wind, strong wind, swift wind |
| 通過: passing through (a tunnel, station, town, etc.) (つうか), passing by (e.g. of a typhoon), transit, passage (of a bill, e.g. through parliament), carriage | 又: again (また), once more, once again, another time, some other time | 失策: blunder (しっさく), slip, error, error | 取: taking (とり), taker, collecting, collector, remover |
| 付: furnished with (つき), furnished with (づき), furnished with (ツキ), including, including | 黒: black (くろ), black stone, guilt, guilty person | 光: light (ひかり), illumination, ray, beam, gleam | 貫: kan (obs. unit of weight, approx. 3.75 kg, 8.3 lb) (かん), kan (obs. unit of currency, equiv. to 1000 mon in the Edo period; col. 10 mon in the Meiji period), counter for pieces of sushi, 10 points, 12 points |
| 前: point (さき), tip, end, nozzle, head (of a line) | 横: horizontal (as opposed to vertical) (よこ), horizontal (as opposed to vertical) (ヨコ), lying down, lying down, side-to-side (as opposed to front-to-back) | 全生涯: one’s whole life (ぜんしょうがい) | 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) |