私は食卓に着いた初から、奥さんの顏付で、事の成行を略推察してゐました。然しＫに説明を與へるために、私のゐる前で、それを悉く話されては堪らないと考へました。奥さんはまた其位の事を平氣でする女なのですから、私はひや／＼したのです。幸にＫは又元の沈默に歸りました。平生より多少機嫌のよかつた奥さんも、とう／＼私の恐れを抱いてゐる點までは話を進めずに仕舞ひました。私はほつと一息して室へ歸りました。然し私が是から先Ｋに對して取るべき態度は、何うしたものだらうか、私はそれを考へずにはゐられませんでした。私は色々の辯護を自分の胸に拵らえて見ました。けれども何の辯護もＫに對して面と向ふには足りませんでした。卑怯な私は終に自分で自分をＫに説明するのが厭になつたのです。
translation
From the moment I sat down at the dining table, I was able to make rough guesses about the course of events from the look on Okusan's face. However, in order to give K an explanation, I thought it would be unbearable for him to tell me all about it in my presence. Okusan is also a woman who does such things without hesitation, so I was apprehensive. Fortunately, K returned to his former silence. Okusan, who was in a somewhat better mood than usual, finally did not proceed to the point where I was afraid. I took a deep breath and went back to my room. But I couldn't help but wonder what kind of attitude I should take toward K from now on. I have seen various defenses built up in my heart. But no defense was enough to face K. Cowardly, I finally got tired of explaining myself to K.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 食卓: dining table (しょくたく) | 着: arrival (ちゃく), arriving at …, counter for items or suits of clothing, nth place (in a race), counter for moves | 初: first (うい), first (はつ), new, new, innocent (うぶ) |
| 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 成行: course (of events) (なりゆき), development, progress, outcome, result | 推察: guess (すいさつ), conjecture, surmise | 然: -like (ぜん), so (さ), like that, in that way, like that (しか) |
| 説明: explanation (せつめい), exposition, description, account, caption | 前: point (さき), tip, end, nozzle, head (of a line) | 悉: everything (ことごと) | 話: talk (はなし), speech, chat, conversation, topic |
| 女: female (うみな), female (おうな), female (おな), female (おみな), female (おんな) | 幸: good luck (こう), good luck (さき), good luck (さち), fortune, fortune | 平生: usual (へいぜい), ordinary | 多少: a little (たしょう), some, somewhat, slightly, to some degree |
| 機嫌: humour (きげん), humor, temper, mood, spirits | 恐: frightening (こわ), terrifying, yours sincerely (かしく), yours sincerely (かしこ), respectfully yours | 仕舞: end (しまい), close, finish, termination, noh dance in plain clothes | 一息: one breath (ひといき), time of one breath, pause, break, rest |
| 是: here (ここ), this place, this point, here, now | 對: versus (たい), against, vs., v., to (e.g. score of 4 to 2, ratio of 3 to 1, vote of 320 to 180) | 取: taking (とり), taker, collecting, collector, remover | 態度: attitude (たいど), manner, behaviour, demeanour, bearing |
| 色々: various (いろいろ), all sorts of, variety of, various colors (colours) | 辯護: defense (べんご), defence, pleading, advocacy | 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself | 胸: chest (むな), chest (むね), breast, breast, breasts |
| 面: face (おも), face (おもて), face (も), face (もて), surface | 足: foot (あし), paw, arm (of an octopus, squid, etc.), leg, gait | 卑怯: cowardly (ひきょう), craven, unfair, mean, sneaky | 終: end (おわり), ending, close, conclusion, end of (one’s) life |