私がＫに向つて、此際何んで私の批評が必要なのかと尋ねた時、彼は何時もにも似ない悄然とした口調で、自分の弱い人間であるのが實際恥づかしいと云ひました。さうして迷つてゐるから自分で自分が分らなくなつてしまつたので、私に公平な批評を求めるより外に仕方がないと云ひました。私は隙かさず迷ふといふ意味を聞き糺しました。彼は進んで可いか退ぞいて可いか、それに迷ふのだと説明しました。私はすぐ一歩先へ出ました。さうして退ぞかうと思へば退ぞけるのかと彼に聞きました。すると彼の言葉が其所で不意に行き詰りました。彼はたゞ苦しいと云つた丈でした。實際彼の表情には苦しさうな所があり／＼と見えてゐました。もし相手が御孃さんでなかつたならば、私は何んなに彼に都合の好い返事を、その渇き切つた顏の上に慈雨の如く注いで遣つたか分りません。私はその位の美くしい同情を有つて生れて來た人間と自分ながら信じてゐます。然し其時の私は違つてゐました。
translation
When I asked K why he needed my criticism at this time, he said in an unusually quiet tone that he was really ashamed of being a weak person. . He said that he had no choice but to seek fair criticism from me, since he had lost the ability to understand himself because he was so confused. I asked for the meaning of "to be lost without fail". He explained that he was at a loss as to whether to proceed or to withdraw. I took a step ahead. I asked him if he could withdraw if he wanted to. Then his words suddenly came to a dead end. He just said it was painful. In fact, there was a part of his expression that seemed painful. If the other party hadn't been a child, I don't know how I would have poured such a convenient reply onto his thirsty face like a rain of mercy. I believe that I am a person born with that kind of beautiful sympathy. But I was different then.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | Ｋ: K (ケイ), K (ケー), k, k, kilo- | 批評: criticism (ひひょう), critique, review, commentary | 必要: necessary (ひつよう), needed, essential, indispensable, necessity |
| 何時: when (いつ), at what time, how soon, normal times, ordinary days | 似: looking like (someone) (に), taking after (either of one’s parents) | 悄然: dejected (しょうぜん), dispirited, crestfallen, discouraged | 口調: tone (of voice) (くちょう), manner of talking |
| 弱: a little less than (じゃく), a little under, slightly fewer than, weakness, the weak | 人間: human being (にんげん), human, person, man, mankind | 分: minute (unit of time) (ふん), fun (one tenth of a monme, 5.787 grains), one-tenth (ぶ), one percent (one-tenth of a wari), 3 mm (one-tenth of a sun) | 公平: chopped burdock root (and sometimes carrot) cooked in sugar and soy sauce (きんぴら), chopped burdock root (and sometimes carrot) cooked in sugar and soy sauce (キンピラ), fairness (こうへい), impartiality, justice |
| 仕方: way (しかた), method, means, resource, course | 隙: gap (げき), gap (すき), gap (すきけ), gap (ひま), space | 意味: meaning (いみ), significance, sense | 彼: that (あ), that (あれ), that (アレ), that thing, that thing |
| 説明: explanation (せつめい), exposition, description, account, caption | 一歩先: one step ahead (いっぽさき) | 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) | 言葉: language (けとば), language (ことば), dialect, dialect, word |
| 不意: sudden (ふい), abrupt, unexpected, unforeseen | 行: line (of text) (ぎょう), row, verse, carya (austerities), samskara (formations) | 詰: stuffing (つめ), stuffing (づめ), packing, packing, end (esp. the foot of a bridge) | 苦: pain (く), anguish, suffering, distress, anxiety |
| 表情: facial expression (ひょうじょう), countenance, look, appearance, expression (vocal, etc.) | 所: place (とこ), place (ところ), spot, spot, scene | 見: looking (み), viewing, (please) try (to), view (of life, etc.) (けん), outlook | 相手: companion (あいて), partner, company, other party, addressee |
| 都合: circumstances (つごう), condition, convenience, to arrange, to manage | 好: friendship (ぎ), friendship (よしび), friendship (よしみ), friendly relations, friendly relations | 返事: reply (へんじ), answer, response | 渇: thirst (かつ) |
| 顏: face (かお), face (がん), visage, visage, look | 上: above (うえ), over, up, top, summit | 慈雨: welcome rain (じう), beneficial rain, blessed rain, rain that comes after a drought | 如: tathata (the ultimate nature of all things) (にょ), like (こと), like (ごと), like (もころ), similar to |
| 位: throne (くらい), crown, (nobleman’s) seat, government position, court rank | 美: beauty (び), august (み), beautiful | 同情: sympathy (どうじょう), compassion, pity | 有: existence (ゆう), possession, having, limited company, bhava (becoming, existence) (う) |
| 信: honesty (しん), sincerity, fidelity, trust, reliance | 然: -like (ぜん), so (さ), like that, in that way, like that (しか) |