其上私は書きたいのです。義務は別として私の過去を書きたいのです。私の過去は私丈の經驗だから、私丈の所有と云つても差支ないでせう。それを人に與へないで死ぬのは、惜いとも云はれるでせう。私にも多少そんな心持があります。たゞし受け入れる事の出來ない人に與へる位なら、私はむしろ私の經驗を私の生命と共に葬つた方が好いと思ひます。實際こゝに貴方といふ一人の男が存在してゐないならば、私の過去はついに私の過去で、間接にも他人の知識にはならないで濟んだでせう。私は何千萬とゐる日本人のうちで、たゞ貴方丈に、私の過去を物語りたいのです。あなたは眞面目だから。あなたは眞面目に人生そのものから生きた教訓を得たいと云つたから。
translation
"Besides, I want to write." Apart from my obligations, I want to write about my past. Since my past is a personal experience, I can safely say that it belongs to me. It would be a pity to die without giving it to others. I feel that way too. I would rather bury my experience with my life than give it to someone who cannot accept it. If a man like you didn't actually exist here, my past would have been my past, and it wouldn't have become the knowledge of others indirectly. Among the thousands of Japanese people, I just want to tell you about my past. because you are sincere Because you sincerely wanted to learn a living lesson from life itself.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 書: letter (ふみ), writings, book (しょ), document, calligraphy (esp. Chinese) | 義務: duty (ぎむ), obligation, responsibility | 別: distinction (べち), distinction (べつ), difference, difference, discrimination | 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) |
| 所有: one’s possessions (しょゆう), ownership | 人: -ian (e.g. Italian) (じん), -ite (e.g. Tokyoite), -er (e.g. performer, etc.), person working with …, man | 死: death (し), death (ﾀﾋ), decease, decease, (an) out | 惜: alas (あたら), alas (あったら), regrettably, regrettably, to my great regret |
| 心持: feeling (こころもち), mood, sensation, disposition, mental attitude | 受: vedana (sensation) (じゅ) | 入: entering (いり), setting (of the Sun), containing, content, audience | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident |
| 生命: life (せいめい), existence, (one’s) working life, career, life force | 共: first-person plural (or singular) (ども), second or third person plural (implies speaker is of higher status than those referred to), together with (とも), same, both | 葬: funeral (そう) | 方: direction (かた), way, person, lady, gentleman |
| 貴方: your home (きほう), your residence, you (referring to one’s equal; epistolary style), you (あなた), dear | 一人: one person (いちにん), one person (ひとり), being alone, being alone, being by oneself | 男: man (おっこ), man (おとこ), male, male, fellow | 存在: existence (そんざい), being, presence |
| 他人: another person (あだびと), another person (たにん), another person (ひと), other people, other people | 知識: knowledge (ちしき), information | 何千: many thousands (なんぜん) | 萬: 10,000 (まん), 10,000 (よろず), ten thousand, ten thousand, myriad |
| 貴方: your home (きほう), your residence, you (referring to one’s equal; epistolary style), you (あなた), dear | 丈: only (だけ), just, merely, simply, no more than | 方丈: square jō (approx. 10 sq feet) (ほうじょう), abbot’s chamber, chief priest | 物語: story (ものがたり), tale, narrative, account, fable |
| 人生: (one’s) life (じんせい) | 生: pure (き), undiluted, raw, crude, raw (なま) | 教訓: lesson (きょうくん), precept, teachings, moral | 得: profit (とく), advantage, benefit, gain, rebirth in paradise, entering nirvana |