「私は思ひ切つて自分の心をＫに打ち明けやうとしました。尤も是は其時に始まつた譯でもなかつたのです。旅に出ない前から、私にはさうした腹が出來てゐたのですけれども、打ち明ける機會をつらまへる事も、其機會を作り出す事も、私の手際では旨く行かなかつたのです。今から思ふと、其頃私の周圍にゐた人間はみんな妙でした。女に關して立ち入つた話などをするものは一人もありませんでした。中には話す種を有たないのも大分ゐたでせうが、たとひ有つてゐても默つてゐるのが普通の樣でした。比較的自由な空氣を呼吸してゐる今の貴方がたから見たら、定めし變に思はれるでせう。それが道學の餘習なのか、又は一種のはにかみなのか、判斷は貴方の理解に任せて置きます。
translation
"I tried to confide in my heart to K. Of course, this was not the story that started at that time. Even before I set out on the trip, I had such an appetite. However, I was not very good at holding back the opportunity to confide, nor creating the opportunity. None of them had any intrusive stories about the women. From the point of view of you, who are now breathing relatively free air, it must have seemed like a definite change. I will leave the judgment to your understanding.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | 切: eager (せつ), earnest, ardent, kind, keen | 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself | 心: mind (こころ), heart, spirit, the meaning of a phrase (riddle, etc.), heart (しん) |
| 打: dozen (ダース), hitting a ball (with a bat, golf club, etc.) (だ), batting, stroke | 明: vidya (wisdom) (みょう), mantra, the coming (July 4, etc.), brightness (めい), discernment | 尤: superb (ゆう), outstanding | 是: here (ここ), this place, this point, here, now |
| 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) | 前: point (さき), tip, end, nozzle, head (of a line) | 腹: abdomen (はら), belly, stomach, womb, one’s mind | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident |
| 手際: skill (てぎわ), ability, dexterity, performance, workmanship | 旨: principle (むね), aim, main purpose, central part, pillar | 行: line (of text) (ぎょう), row, verse, carya (austerities), samskara (formations) | 今: now (いま), the present time, just now, soon, immediately |
| 妙: strange (みょう), weird, odd, curious, wonder | 女: female (うみな), female (おうな), female (おな), female (おみな), female (おんな) | 入: entering (いり), setting (of the Sun), containing, content, audience | 話: talk (はなし), speech, chat, conversation, topic |
| 中: inside (なか), interior, among, within, middle | 種: kind (しゅ), variety, (biological) species, (logical) species, seed (e.g. of a plant) (たね) | 有: existence (ゆう), possession, having, limited company, bhava (becoming, existence) (う) | 大分: considerably (だいぶ), considerably (だいぶん), greatly, greatly, a lot |
| 比較: comparison (ひかく) | 比較的: comparatively (ひかくてき), relatively | 自由: freedom (じゆう), liberty | 自由: freedom (じゆう), liberty |
| 貴方: your home (きほう), your residence, you (referring to one’s equal; epistolary style), you (あなた), dear | 見: looking (み), viewing, (please) try (to), view (of life, etc.) (けん), outlook | 定: certainly (さだ), truly, certainty (じょう), reality, actuality | 變: strange (へん), odd, peculiar, weird, curious |
| 一種: a kind (いっしゅ), a sort, a variety, a species, of sorts | 理解: understanding (りかい), comprehension, appreciation, sympathy | 任: obligation (にん), duty, charge, responsibility |