私はＫを説くときに、是非其所を明らかにして遣りたかつたのです。然し云へば屹度反抗されるに極つてゐました。また昔の人の例などを、引合に持つて來るに違ないと思ひました。さうなれば私だつて、其人達とＫと違つてゐる點を明白に述べなければならなくなります。それを首肯つて呉れるやうなＫなら可いのですけれども、彼の性質として、議論が其所迄行くと容易に後へは返りません。猶先へ出ます。さうして、口で先へ出た通りを、行爲で實現しに掛ります。彼は斯うなると恐るべき男でした。偉大でした。自分で自分を破壞しつゝ進みます。結果から見れば、彼はたゞ自己の成功を打ち碎く意味に於て、偉大なのに過ぎないのですけれども、それでも決して平凡ではありませんでした。彼の氣性をよく知つた私はついに何とも云ふ事が出來なかつたのです。其上私から見ると、彼は前にも述べた通り、多少神經衰弱に罹つてゐたやうに思はれたのです。よし私が彼を説き伏せた所で、彼は必ず激するに違ないのです。私は彼と喧嘩をする事は恐れてはゐませんでしたけれども、私が孤獨の感に堪へなかつた自分の境遇を顧みると、親友の彼を、同じ孤獨の境遇に置くのは、私に取つて忍びない事でした。一歩進んで、より孤獨な境遇に突き落すのは猶厭でした。それで私は彼が宅へ引き移つてからも、當分の間は批評がましい批評を彼の上に加へずにゐました。たゞ穩かに周圍の彼に及ぼす結果を見る事にしたのです。
translation
When I preached K, I definitely wanted to clarify that point. To put it bluntly, I was bound to be rebelled from time to time. I also thought that he must bring in the examples of people of the past. In that case, even I would have to clearly state the points where I differed from them. It would be all right if K could endorse it, but his nature is such that once the discussion reaches a certain point, it is not easy to turn back. I'm going to go to grace. In this way, I will try to realize the street that I have come up with through my actions. He was a terrifying man to say that. It was great. Destroy yourself and move on. Judging from the result, he was just great in the sense of defeating his own success, but he was by no means ordinary. Knowing his character well, I was at a loss to say anything. Moreover, from my point of view, as I mentioned earlier, he seemed to be suffering from a nervous breakdown. Well, if I persuade him, he must be furious. I wasn't afraid to quarrel with him, but when I look back on my situation where I couldn't stand the feeling of loneliness, I felt that it would be wrong for me to put my best friend in the same loneliness. It was intolerable. I didn't want to go one step further and plunge into a more isolated situation. So, even after he moved into his house, I did not give him any critical criticism for a while. I just decided to see the results of those around me on him.
kanji (pronunciations & definitions)
| 私: I (わたし), me, I (あたくし), I (あたし), I (アタシ) | Ｋ: K (ケイ), K (ケー), k, k, kilo- | 説: theory (せつ), doctrine, opinion, view, rumour | 是非: certainly (ぜひ), without fail, right and wrong, pros and cons |
| 其所: there (place relatively near listener) (そこ), there (place just mentioned), that place, then (of some incident just spoken of), that (of point just raised) | 明: vidya (wisdom) (みょう), mantra, the coming (July 4, etc.), brightness (めい), discernment | 然: -like (ぜん), so (さ), like that, in that way, like that (しか) | 屹度: surely (きっと), surely (キッと), undoubtedly, undoubtedly, almost certainly |
| 反抗: opposition (はんこう), resistance, insubordination, defiance, hostility | 極: quite (ごく), very, 10^48, quindecillion, pole (きょく) | 昔: olden days (むかし), former | 人: -ian (e.g. Italian) (じん), -ite (e.g. Tokyoite), -er (e.g. performer, etc.), person working with …, man |
| 引合: reference (ひきあい), example, instance, inquiry (about a product, business deal, etc.), enquiry | 持: draw (in go, poetry contest, etc.) (じ), tie | 人達: people (ひとたち) | 明白: obvious (めいはく), clear, plain, evident, apparent |
| 首肯: assent (しゅこう), consent | 呉: go (ご), soy beans soaked and mashed to a creamy paste (ingredient of tofu and soy milk), Wu (region in China, south of the lower Yangtze), Wu (kingdom in China during the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms era; 902-937 CE), Southern Wu | 可: acceptable (か), satisfactory, allowed, permitted, approval | 彼: that (あ), that (あれ), that (アレ), that thing, that thing |
| 議論: argument (ぎろん), discussion, dispute, controversy | 其所: there (place relatively near listener) (そこ), there (place just mentioned), that place, then (of some incident just spoken of), that (of point just raised) | 容易: easy (ようい), simple, plain | 後: behind (あと), rear, after, later, remainder |
| 出: coming out (で), going out, outflow, efflux, rising (of the Sun or the Moon) | 口: mouth (くち), opening, hole, gap, orifice | 先: a short while ago (さっき), a moment ago, just now, some time ago, point (さき) | 通: authority (つう), expert, connoisseur, well-informed person, counter for messages, letters, notes, documents, etc. |
| 恐: frightening (こわ), terrifying, yours sincerely (かしく), yours sincerely (かしこ), respectfully yours | 男: man (おっこ), man (おとこ), male, male, fellow | 偉大: great (いだい), grand, magnificent, outstanding, mighty | 自分: myself (じぶん), yourself, oneself, himself, herself |
| 見: looking (み), viewing, (please) try (to), view (of life, etc.) (けん), outlook | 自己: self (じこ), oneself | 成功: success (せいこう), achievement, succeeding (in life), (worldly) success, prosperity | 打: dozen (ダース), hitting a ball (with a bat, golf club, etc.) (だ), batting, stroke |
| 於: at (おいて), in, on | 過: surplus- (か), excess-, over-, per- (chemical with more of a certain element than found in other compounds of the same constituents) | 決: decision (けつ), vote | 平凡: ordinary (へいぼん), common, commonplace, mediocre, unremarkable |
| 何: what (なに), what (ナニ), you-know-what, you-know-what, that thing | 事: thing (こと), thing (こん), matter, matter, incident | 前: point (さき), tip, end, nozzle, head (of a line) | 多少: a little (たしょう), some, somewhat, slightly, to some degree |
| 所: place (とこ), place (ところ), spot, spot, scene | 必: definiteness (ひつ), certainty | 激: extremely (げき), terrifically, super | 喧嘩: quarrel (けんか), quarrel (ケンカ), brawl, brawl, fight |
| 境遇: one’s circumstances (きょうぐう), environment, situation (in life) | 親友: close friend (しんゆう), bosom friend, buddy, crony, chum | 同: the same (どう), the said, likewise | 取: taking (とり), taker, collecting, collector, remover |
| 一歩: (a) step (いっぽ), one step, level, stage, step | 突: very (とっ), much | 落: slip (おち), slip (オチ), omission, omission, upshot | 宅: house (たく), home, one’s house, one’s home, one’s husband |
| 間: space (between) (あいだ), space (between) (あわい), gap, gap, interval | 批評: criticism (ひひょう), critique, review, commentary | 上: above (うえ), over, up, top, summit | 加: addition (か), Canada |